Overheard on the Titanic

- Captain:

You were chosen for this task with the expectation that you would safely navigate this ship across the North Atlantic.

A nearly invulnerable ship with the most modern technologies was made available to you.

It is obvious, now that we have struck an iceberg, that our trust in you abilities was misplaced. We have selected a more suitable replacement from among our own number.

You have been relieved of your command, and effective immediately, you will address me as CAPTAIN Ignatieff.

You are dismissed.